In the last few months of 2019, my husband J and I decided to start fostering rescue dogs. We were considering adopting a second dog but had concerns about our first dog, Boba, getting along well with a little sister. Fostering seemed to be a low-risk test run to see how his personality meshed with other dogs before committing for life. We learned a lot about ourselves and dealing with dogs who have a past. Here are our fosters and what we learned with each. Scroll to the end for the overall pros and cons if you are considering fostering a dog yourself!
Logistics of fostering:
- It’s free. All costs are covered by the rescue or shelter.
- The amount of time you have a dog is indefinite. You keep them until they are adopted or until another foster can take them. This means you can have a dog for months before they are adopted.
- Typically, if you’re an approved foster, you’re approved to adopt from the organization.
- You have a choice of whether to accept dogs to foster, but you don’t always get to pick the ones you see available to foster. The rescue will assign dogs based on personality and your home circumstances.
Tallulah – Foster #1
Meet our first foster baby, Tallulah. She was a stray found in Alabama and brought up to us. We picked her up from the Rescue founder’s home on a Sunday night. Immediately we could tell she was very sweet and friendly as she instantly jumped up with her tail wagging looking to lay a big slobbery kiss on us. At the time, she was only 25 lbs and 5 months old.
The biggest challenge with her was that she had strong stray tendencies. She was extremely food motivated, sneaky, and disobedient. She loved Boba so that wasn’t an issue, but controlling her was difficult. Since I have the perk of working from home a lot, we were able to exercise her plenty with play-time in the yard and two walks per day. We used baby gates to keep her contained and away from food, and crate trained her to the point where she actually liked being in her crate.
She was naughty as heck. She has a lot of good qualities but she was just non stop trouble, trying to chew all my shoes, steal food and harassing Boba non-stop. At one point she even buried my phone in the flower garden! Luckily I had music playing so I could find it. Even still, J and I were falling in love with this sweet affectionate puppy and were worried that we would foster fail; a term used when a foster adopts a dog they are fostering. Fortunately, my brother and his then-girlfriend fell in love with the little lady and adopted her and now our dogs can continue to be friends.
Lessons learned from that experience:
- Crate Training is very important. When you need a break from a rambunctious puppy or just some uninterrupted sleep. Crate training will save your sanity and help a dog feel more secure having their own space.
- Boundaries are key. Dogs need boundaries to understand what is acceptable and to help them adjust to the rules of the home. It also keeps them safe with you to limit their access to a controlled environment. Tallulah had a habit of eating anything, including socks, if we weren’t careful. This can be dangerous so ensuring she’s in a clean, monitored space kept her safe.
- Exercise is critical for training. A bored dog is a naughty dog. Proper exercise helps keep them calm in the home and more receptive to training. Plus, those walks are good for you too.
Sasha – Foster #2
Sasha was an emotionally tough foster. She was rescued from a negligent home that underfed her and kept her locked up in a crate for the majority of the day. The previous owners were giving away her puppies at only 6 weeks old (which is illegal in the U.S) via Craigslist. Someone notified our rescue and they came to take all her puppies and asked to take Sasha as well. At first, the owners declined but also had no plans to get her fixed. After a day or two, they decided that our rescue organization can take her too.
The founder of the rescue picked Sasha up from the home. She described it as filthy, with plates of food and trash strewn about the house and 6 young kids running wildly around the house. Sasha was kept locked up in a crate with another dog.
When J and I went to pick her up, the meet and greet was a stark difference from when we got Tallulah. Sasha laid down and refused to move, a common fear move that we started calling “pancaking.” She was wary of J because he is a man with a beard, but I was able to coax her into the car and take her home. Sasha was 1.5 years old and came from a rough home, so we knew introductions with our dog would have to be well monitored and timed. That first night, we kept them completely separated so she could get used to her new surroundings and decompress. The poor thing was terrified and wouldn’t eat or drink water for the first 3 hours we had her.
We had to teach Sasha all the basics, including how to eat out of a dog bowl. It was clear from how she acted, she just ate whatever food was left on the ground, or deli meats that were thrown at her by her previous family. The first few days we hand fed her every meal and celebrated with each milestone she reached. We saw her confidence grow quickly in a short amount of time.
Unfortunately, Sasha didn’t get along with Boba or other dogs on walks. She could walk with Boba but would get defensive once back in the house. With the holidays coming up and all of our family owning dogs, we reached out to our organization to have Sasha transferred to a foster home without dogs. It felt like we were giving up on her, but really we saw so much goodness and progress from her that we knew she’d make a great family pet one day. She is still waiting to be adopted.*
Lessons Learned:
- People can really suck. It’s difficult to see first hand the results of a negligent dog owner. As someone who treats my dogs as if they were my human children, it baffles me that people choose to own a dog that they don’t want to love and care for. For every asshole who hurts a dog, there are people out there who want to love and save them. And that’s what to remember while fostering, you’re one of the good ones trying to help.
- Decompression is extremely important, especially when you’re dealing with an abused animal. They have just been through hell and are confused what’s going on. Give them some time and space to get used to their surroundings and use a crate to give them a safe place to retreat to. Go slow, it will get better.
- Celebrate small successes and show the what love is supposed to feel like. It can be discouraging when you can’t get a scared dog to even drink water or eat a piece of kibble. J and I showed Sasha constant affection and encouragement and slowly she trust us enough to eat from our hand. Hand-feeding helps earn trust.
- Don’t be too hard on yourself when you realize your foster dog doesn’t work well in your current situation. We felt like we failed her when we asked to move her to another foster, but we felt it would be best for both of us. We took her in for the first week and helped build her confidence so she wasn’t trembling anymore. She was playing and happy by the time we dropped her with the new fosters and from updates we saw they made huge strides in her training.
Ruby – Foster #3
Our third and final foster (for now), Ruby. This one was an emotional roller coaster. Within 24 hours we decided we loved her and wanted to keep her based on how well she got along with Boba. Trying to be level headed about this decision, I decided to sleep on it. When I woke up the next day I had an email stating an approved applicant wanted to adopt Ruby. I was crushed, kicking myself for taking the extra night to think things over. I asked if it were possible that I could adopt her, even though I was now the second in line to apply for her. The rescue organization apologetically declined my request, and I was heartbroken as I set up the meet-and-greet with the applicants and Ruby.
A very nice, young couple came to meet Ruby and I was sure they were going to adopt her. I told them how she was a truly great dog, very friendly and sweet, responsive to authority and loves both people, dogs, and cats. I warned them that I noticed she had separation anxiety and encouraged them to take steps to minimize her discomfort during the day. They asked questions and seemed willing to take on the challenge and the woman was completely obsessed once I put PJs on Ruby.
The couple was truly wonderful because they wrote back a day later asking more about her separation anxiety, concerned that she would be unhappy as they were gone 8 hours a day and they did not have another dog to keep her company. I answered their questions honestly, as I knew Ruby would be going to a great home if she went with them, and I offered to walk them through how I overcame separation anxiety with Boba. Then miracles of all miracles, they decided to pass on adopting Ruby, freeing her up for us to add her to our family permanently. While we were ecstatic to have her in our family, I have not been contacted to foster from the rescue since and wonder if how things transpired tarnished that relationship. J and I would like to continue fostering in the future.
Lessons Learned:
- The Lord works in mysterious ways. I still can’t believe we got Ruby. I cried all week leading up to the meet-and-greet with the other applicants. My mother-in-law was praying hard for us to get Ruby and it worked out. Ruby is happy and well adjusted to her life here with us. And she’s obsessed with her big brother Boba.
- Be honest and you won’t have regrets. I’m glad I was honest during the meet-and-greet. People told me to play up her faults so they wouldn’t want her, but it would have been wrong to do so. I can live guilt-free knowing I gave a full picture of all the pros and cons of Ruby for them to make an informed decision whether she fits with their lifestyle. #noregrets
- Fostering dogs takes an emotional toll. It’s okay to take a break from fostering. We needed one after Ruby, 1. So we could train her and 2. because it is difficult loving and saying goodbye to your foster dogs. Not to mention all the extra time invested in making sure they are adjusting well, showering them with affection and training them to help get them placed in a home. With any charitable action, give what you can, but don’t sacrifice yourself doing so or you won’t be able to help more in the future. Balance is key.
So, to sum up, our overall thoughts on fostering is that we love doing it despite it being tough. It’s a big-time commitment and an emotional experience, but it is so rewarding. If you’re considering adopting but are unsure about getting a rescue, fostering is a great way to see a dog’s personality before committing to them for life, but it can be risky if someone else is interested in adopting them. If you, dear reader, have any questions about fostering dogs then please leave a comment! I’d be happy to answer them as I firmly support adopting rescue dogs and foster care is a major aspect of the process.
*Sasha has been adopted to a nice family! She was in fostercare for 5 months.